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Millennium Pie
Sing along to the tune of american pie 1 (41.3k)  or  
american pie 2 (24.5k) (with apologies to Don McLean)

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember how Computers used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
That I could make electrons dance,
And maybe I'd be happy for a while.

But January made me shiver,
it chilled me deep down in my liver,
Bad news I'd collected...
I couldn't get connected.

I can't remember back that day
When I first knew the Y2K
But something touched me anyway,
The day computers died.

So, ...Bye, bye next digit of Pi
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire,
this will be the day I retire.

Can you write in C plus plus ?
And do you have faith in your local bus
If the driver tells you so ?

Do you believe in Compaq's goals
Can software save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to type real slow ?

Well I thought that you were prepared
'Cause your memo said you weren't impaired
Your stationery's swell
But you can go to hell

I was a lonely teenage Unix hack
With an incantation and a modem jack
but I knew the cat had left the sack
The day computers died

I started singin'...

Bye, bye next digit of Pi
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire,
this will be the day I retire.

Now for 10 years we've ignored the threat
And we haven't solved the problem yet
But that's not how it used to be

When the Luddites read for the king and queen
with a light they filled with kerosene
And some manuals they stole from you and me

And while Bill Gates was looking pleased
Time stole his monopolies
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned

While Apple tried a color scheme
The engineers returned to steam
And we had purges of their dreams
The day computers died

We were singin'

Bye, bye next digit of Pi
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire,
this will be the day I retire.

Intel inside in an iron smelter
The food leftover from my fallout shelter
Twinkies old and aging fast
I'd rather eat the grass
Q and A tried for a system crash
With the tester on the sidelines in a cast
Now the timeshare net was running Doom
While mainframes played a marching tune
We all tried to log in
Oh, but we never could begin

'Cause Cobol tried to take the field,
And Hollerith refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed,
The day computers died?

We started singing

Bye, bye next digit of Pi
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire
this will be the day I retire

There we were all in a state
A generation- really late
With no time left to start again
So come on mouse be nimble, mouse be quick
Don't let my spreadsheet data stick
'Cause data is the devil's only friend.

As I watched him on my screen
My hands and face were drenched in steam
No angel born in hell
Could run that stupid shell
And as the ball climbed high into the night
To call the sacrificial night
I saw Dick Clark laughing with delight
the day computers died.

I met a girl with a cell phone
And I asked her for a dial tone
But she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the software store
Where I'd seen computers years before
But the man there said the games there wouldn't play
And in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
their interface was spoken
The Internet was broken
And the three things I connect to most
The Website, LAN and the Network HOST
Every single one was toast
The day computers died

They were singin'
Bye, bye next digit of Pi
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire
this will be the day I retire

Millennium Pie Lyrics © Scott McNulty July 1999

Ludd·ite
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps from Ned Ludd, 18th century Leicestershire workman who destroyed machinery
Date: 1811
: one of a group of early 19th century English workmen destroying laborsaving machinery as a protest;
broadly : one who is opposed to especially technological change
- Luddite adjective

Herman Hollerith died 1929 American engineer 

Punch card
Function: noun Date: 1919 : a card in which holes are punched in designated positions to represent data -- called also Hollerith card, punch card